My Journey Into Real Happiness

I first meditated almost two years ago. At first it was a purely an attempt to gain control over an immune system out of control and stress consuming my life. I experienced an immediate change in my health and was able to get off a lot of prescription meds soon after with the help of vitamins and supplements.

For almost a year afterwards meditating was something I did sporadically as needed, when I had time for it. It was an exercise in self-help. While I continued to derive health benefits from the practice, the principles, and natural vitamins, I didn’t take it seriously.

About 9 months ago I began sitting with more regularity, at least weekly. When I picked up Sharon Salzberg’s book Real Happiness in January of this year, it gave me tools to deepen the practice and engage it more fully.

I began sitting for several times a week until I was sitting everyday by the end of the 28 day journey through the book. By the time I finished the book mindfulness was no longer just something I did sitting on a cushion in the corner. I began practicing mindfulness throughout my day. I continued the practice since February, sitting almost daily with a few exceptions. I also learned not to beat myself up for missing a day or getting off course.

A month ago I decided to go through the 28 days of Real Happiness again and made a serious commitment to sit at least 20 minutes a day everyday from now on. This practice became much easier with the support of my wife and kids who recognized it was here to stay, and I hope also saw that I was more pleasant to be around as a result.

The second 28 days has just ended, and I have really enjoyed the journey. There were several not so pleasant moments on the cushion such as dealing with a monkey mind, difficult emotions, or sleepiness, but I had discovered a way to work with those moments so that even they were included in my practice.

While I intended to just sit at least once a day, I quickly found myself sitting twice a day most days of the week. It was no longer something I had to make time for. It was something I truly wanted to do, and it began to feel more and more like the path that felt right for me.

This is how I came to the practice of mediation or how the practice came to me. It’s something that I have committed to continue and make a regular part of my life. The challenge is “taking the practice off the cushion,” seeing how it affects everyday life, and trying to practice mindfulness and lovingkindness in each of those moments. I don’t always get it right, but at least I’m aware and awake for perhaps the first time. When I blow it, I can always start over and just begin again.

Don’t Scratch the Itch… Watch It

Sometimes meditation comes easy but most of the time it doesn’t. Our bodies can be rest-less and our minds scattered. In either case I’ve found that doing a body scan meditation can “distract” my monkey mind from all its thoughts and focus my attention elsewhere. I often get caught up in trying to stop thinking rather than just observing what is taking place, and I’ve found that a body scan can center me and help me get back on track.

You can move your focus throughout your body and feel the sensations you are experiencing. This is usually helpful where there is pain, discomfort, or distraction. Rather than scratch the itch or rub the pain, you can just be with the feeling. Inevitably it goes away or becomes less of a distraction after a few moments of attention. You notice that for that time you weren’t focused on the 100 thoughts racing through your head but were just there with the pain or sensation for that time.

A type of body scan that seems to really help me is to do a sensory scan. Something as simple as checking in with all of your senses. I’m sitting. I feel the weight of my body on the cushion, the pressure of my legs folded on one another. I feel the breath enter my lungs and the movement of my abdomen inhaling and exhaling. I feel the tension in my back from not sitting erect. I hear the rain outside, the birds singing. I hear the fan turning slowly. I smell the soap I used. I smell the candles burning. I feel the warmth of the candle flame on shining on my face. I taste the lingering hint of morning coffee. I see the candlelight flicker. I see the water drip down the fountain. I’m feeling calm, peaceful. Oh, wait a minute… My mind isn’t racing any more. I’m not caught up in the 10,000 things. I’m just here, paying attention. Now I can just breathe.

Relief through Meditation

Few things have helped me regain a sense of wellness and control over chronic idiopathic urticaria like meditation has. An auto-immune disease is a body in overdrive. While we may never discover the root cause of our inflammation, the health benefits of meditation are numerous. I think a lot of people may be hesitant to practice meditation because it may be new and unfamiliar. It is not a religion, although it has roots in many religious traditions.

If you are new to meditation or looking to deepen your practice, I highly recommend Sharon Salzberg’s new book Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation. It is a 28-day program of guided meditation to gradually introduce you to the practice in a very simple and easy to understand and follow guide. It comes with an audio CD with several guided sessions as well. I wish you well.

Maintenance Mode

My CIU has been under control since the end of 2009 for the most part. One generic Zyrtec a day does the trick for me, as well as daily supplements Vitamin D, C, Fish Oil, & Multi-Vitamin. I’d love to get off the Zyrtec, but I’m thankful that it’s a downgrade from the more expensive Xyzal as well as the other anti-histamines and prescription meds. I can’t go more than 36 hours without Zyrtec or my skin starts feeling like it’s crawling. I still rack my brain trying to figure out when and how this all started and what the potential cause could be. No answers yet, but I’m still searching.

Thanks to all who have shared their experiences and successes on my first post. Your input helps all of us, if only to know we’re not the only ones dealing with this. I would probably still be having major flareups if not for the info I learned from other people who have found a way to live with CIU. Keep posting, share articles and comments, and come back often.

A new home

After receiving so many views and comments on my initial post on Living with Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria in October 2009, I think it’s time to give the conversation its own home in cyberspace. There are so many topics that have come from the comment thread discussion that really deserve further discussion, and I hope this blog will be a good place to post new and relevant articles and links related to CIU relief and research. Please check back often and comment, comment, comment. There are many more people out there suffering and living with CIU than you know. Your words of encouragement mean more than you know to those looking for answers.

Living with Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria

If you have Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria, I doubt I have to explain what it is, or you wouldn’t be searching the internet for relief. There are links galore on symptoms and possible causes, but idiopathic means the cause is unknown and so is the cure. I don’t know my “triggers.” I don’t think there are any. 99% of all urticaria is auto-immune related and unrelated to an allergy, but I do know that Aspirin, Ibuprofen, or Naproxen is like throwing gasoline on a fire for me. Steroids are NOT a long term solution. If you’re on them, talk to your doctor and get off them ASAP. They can do more damage than they can help. I have read several articles that cite studies saying that the anxiety experienced by chronic idiopathic urticaria is similar to patients recovering from triple heart bypass surgery. I believe it. I don’t like writing about this. It’s embarrassing and extremely frustrating. Even more frustrating is trying to find relief.